


Quirks

by astrangepurplefairy



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Elmer has depressive episodes, Fluff, Multi, Please be gentle, Spralmer - Freeform, a little angst if you squint, and his boyfriends love him, depressive episodes, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 13:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangepurplefairy/pseuds/astrangepurplefairy
Summary: How Elmer’s boyfriends learn about and handle his depressive episodes.—I’m horrible at summaries and this is basically just Spralmer fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is based purely off of my own episodes, as someone who suffers from them, but i understand that everyone’s episodes are different. enjoy lovelies!!

_It’s not an easy process, it never will be._

—————

Spot’s eyes were trained on the shape of Elmer’s curled up body beneath the covers, practically staring a hole through his spine. He hadn’t moved for hours, except for the steady rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed, but even that was dejected and indifferent, as if he wasn’t doing it on purpose.

It broke Spot’s heart.

Elmer’s mom had told him not to worry so fiercely. Had told all three of them—he, Race, and Albert—that these actions were normal, that he would stay in bed for days. That he would eat sometimes, sleep rarely, spend his time staring at the ceiling or the walls with eyes glazed over and silent, yet screaming with a thousand words. That his responses would be one-word but you still had to talk to him, remind him subtly that you were there and he could take his time with it. That they couldn’t drop everything just to babysit him because chances were, he wasn’t aware they were there anyway. And that wasn’t anything against them, it was just how far his brain had swallowed him.

But Spot couldn’t help it sometimes.

Race was working and Albert was up visiting his mom for the day, and even though Spot had done things today, finished his house chores and set a chicken in the crock pot and gone grocery shopping, every time he was away he found himself rushing back to Elmer, fearing that he would want someone and none of them would be there. Race and Albert had had a hard enough time leaving this morning, each of them collectively worried. But Spot had assured them that everything would be alright, he would be there. The idea of disappointing the two of them by breaking his promise and Elmer by not being there when he needed scared him half to death.

So here he was. Sitting in the chair in their extra room, which they’d turned into a quiet room for situations exactly like this, just watching Elmer breathe and feeling his heart break. Looking at him, the kindest and sweetest person that Spot had ever seen, the bright sunshine of the four of them, and knowing he felt the way he did, knowing his brain was screaming these things at him and he was just pounding on the walls trying to get out—it made Spot want to cry.

But he had to be there. Had to make sure Elmer knew, if any part of him was still paying attention, that he wasn’t alone, that he’d never been alone. That Spot was there for him, and Albert and Race too, when they were there. That they loved him, and they didn’t stop just because of what went on inside his head when he couldn’t control it.

Still, watching Elmer hurt was one of the hardest things Spot had to do.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww poor elmer  
> im here for loving spot tho


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some angsty angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again this is based purely off my own emotions during my episodes

_Sometimes he won’t want anyone near him, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. _

—————

“Please go.”

Elmer’s voice was weak from where it echoed out of his still body, on its side and curled up tightly, like he could make himself so small that no one would see him.

Race tried not to choke on tears, and he stood in the darkened room.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Elmer’s voice was crackling, thick with sorrow that broke Race in half, that twisted his insides with a knife.

Still, he nodded to himself and walked out of the room as quietly as possible, shutting the door silently beside him. Already, his body was shaking, and he managed to make it halfway down the hall before his back was pressed against the wall and he was sliding down, down, down, burying his face in his hands and crying. His knees were up to his chest, blonde head tilted down.

Arms came around his shoulders and pulled him close, a hand stroking through his wild curls.

“I know it hurts,” Albert whispered in his ear, voice wavering. “But it’ll pass. This is a part of who he is,” he leaned back and wiped Race’s tears, holding his face with a sad, sad smile. “And I can’t bear him being in pain any more than you can. But we’ll all be okay.”

Race whimpered slightly, ducking his head, but Albert’s fingers came up under his chin and lifted his gaze.

“Hey,” He murmured, staring into his eyes. “You know Elmer loves us.” Al whispered. “He just...” He brushed some of Race’s hair back, thumb running over his ear. “Sometimes we have to do things alone, right?”

Race nodded and sniffed, and then glanced back to the closed door of the extra room. Albert threaded their fingers together.

“Come on,” he murmured, and kissed Race’s brow. “We’ll check on him in an hour.” He promised.

Race stood and followed his boyfriend down the stairs, a little part of him staying shut away in a dark room, next to a curled-up boy with tears on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor race i felt bad writing this chapter because it hurts to have race cry


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some sweet albert and elmer because everyone needs to be held once in a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so sweet and sad to me ugh

_ Sometimes, he’ll only want one of you, which is normal—different moments call for different emotions and solutions. _

—————

“Albert.”

Race, Spot, and Albert all looked up at the small voice calling from the bottom of the stairs, halfway hidden behind the banister. It wasn’t unheard of for Elmer to walk around during his episodes, depending on the day and the overall intensity of each one, but each time was always a bit surprising.

Albert straightened immediately, all his attention shifted to his boyfriend. “Yeah, baby?” He responded in an even but caring voice, looking to Elmer from the couch.

Elmer’s lower lip quivered and tears sprung in his eyes. “Can you—“ his voice broke off, and he held out his arms. “I just—“

Albert was up in a moment. “Of course, love.” He assured, and in two great strides, he had crossed the room and enveloped Elmer in his arms, burying his face in Elmer’s dark and messy hair. Elmer still smelled like lemon body soap and iced coffee, like sweetness and sunshine and joy, but he sank into Albert’s body with the desperation of someone on the brink of insanity, arms going limp at his sides and face pressed into Albert’s chest.

“We love you, baby, we love you so much.” Albert whispered into Elmer’s wild locks, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of his head.

“Come upstairs with me?” Elmer whispered, so quiet it was almost unintelligible.

Albert picked him up easily, arms banding under his thighs as Elmer’s wrapped around his neck. “Course, baby, of course.” He assured. Elmer shut his eyes, cheek on Albert’s shoulder, and Albert cast his boyfriends a slightly apologetic glance that they shook their head at.

“ _Go_ ,” Spot mouthed, with a soft smile, and Race nodded.

Albert walked upstairs with Elmer held close in his embrace, but when he made for the quiet room, Elmer shook his head. “Our bedroom. Please.” He whispered, voice choked. Albert just nodded dutifully and walked into their bedroom, setting Elmer down on their king bed and crawling beside him. He drew the covers up over them and then gathered Elmer into his body once more.

Albert didn’t say anything, just stroked Elmer’s soft hair between his fingers and held onto him tight, listening to the way he breathed in sleep, slowly and surely. Elmer looked peaceful when he slept, no matter his conscious feelings, and Albert relished seeing that calmness on his face. He had missed it desperately.

When Elmer snuggled in closer to him, tucking his head under Albert’s chin, he tightened his hold and blinked away the water in his eyes, pretending it was only a piece of dust that had been floating through the air, and not the complete and overwhelming love he felt for his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want albert to hold me too


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we finally get all four of them together because they’re good boyfriends who love elmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is fluff and im not sorry it’s also short and i AM sorry

_ Sometimes, he’ll want all of you there for him, too. _

—————

Footsteps echoed on the stairway, and Race glanced towards them. Elmer was dwarfed in one of Race’s sweatshirts, wearing Spot’s socks, and his eyes were trained on his three boyfriends sitting on the couch as he descended the steps, hands hidden by the long sleeves.

“Hi, love.” Spot said to him, and Race smiled gently.

Elmer blinked slowly, a melancholia filling his eyes, but he took a step forward. “Can I sit with you guys?” He whispered. His voice was hoarse with misuse, and his eyes were wary, as if afraid they would turn him away.

Albert nodded. “Sure, Elly, we’d love you to.” He said softly, and moved over until there was a space between him and Spot in the middle of the couch.

Elmer seemed unsure. “I don’t want to intrude.” He murmured halfheartedly, frowning.

“We’re not complete without you, my love.” Race called, and watched some relief chip into Elmer’s eyes. “We want you here.”

Elmer sighed gratefully and then sat down beside Albert, leaning into Spot’s body and taking Albert’s hand. Race turned down the sitcom they’d been watching until it was just quiet chatter in the background, and he put his head on Albert’s shoulder. It was clear Elmer was still caught inside of his own mind, his eyes glassy and dazed, but he was there, wanting to be with them, and Race hadn’t lied when he’d said they weren’t complete without him.

Elmer leaned into his boyfriends, who all leaned into each other, and shut his eyes, letting the screaming in his head quiet down, just a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i could be cuddled by all four of these boys at the same time my life would be complete


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer doesn’t want to eat and spot hopes he will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so idk about all y’all but i never wanna eat during an episode and i only will maybe once a day

_ He won’t want to eat, and he doesn’t have to all the time, but you have to get at least one meal in him a day. _

—————

“Elly, baby?”

Spot pushed the door open gently, peering inside the dark room, towards the bed. Elmer was sitting up, at least, head tipped back against the headboard and eyes on the ceiling.

“Yeah?” He responded softly, voice scratchy and whispered.

“I have some food for you, here.” Spot offered, and then sat down in the chair beside the bed. Elmer’s eyes flashed to him, just for a moment. “Nothing too complicated, just a sandwich.”

Elmer swallowed, and looked sadly at Spot. “I’m not hungry.” He whispered, sounding guilty and apologetic.

Spot smiled gently at him. “I know.” He said, and set the plate down on the bedside table. “I’m gonna go,” He murmured, and brushed his hand across Elmer’s forehead, pushing his hair back. Elmer shut his eyes. “Try to eat, if you can.” He stood. “I love you, baby.”

Elmer looked up at him. “I love you.” He said.

Spot kissed his brow and left the room, closing the door behind him. His mind spun as he walked downstairs, and then fell between his boyfriends on the couch, sighing. Race combed his fingers through Spot’s hair, pulling his head onto his lap, and Albert murmured, “Did he eat?”

Spot shook his head. “No.” He said, slowly. “But I left it up there, maybe he’ll eat a little.”

Race just murmured something unintelligible and traced Spot’s brows, humming to himself. Albert patted Spot’s foot. “Alright, what are we watching?”

Spot mumbled, “Friends.” And turned his face into Race’s torso, sighing a little.

An hour later, when Spot walked up to the quiet room and pushed the door open, Elmer was asleep on his side and facing the wall, but the plate on the table was empty.

Spot smiled softly and picked it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> elmer tries his best  
> ugh he’s so precious


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer feels like one big problem and race is here to prove that he isn’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes medication sucks gang

_ He has a medication, but sometimes he doesn’t take it. You’ll want to check that, and he’ll get angry that you will. _

—————

“El, love?” Race called across the apartment, holding Elmer’s bottle of pills in his hand.

“Yeeeeees?” Elmer’s cheery voice echoed back, and he walked into the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe. The moment his eyes landed on the bottle, his smile fell.

Race bit his bottom lip. “Have you, uh... you’ve been taking these, right?” He asked.

Elmer’s face darkened. “Of course.”

He met Elmer’s eyes. “Did you take it today?”

Silence.

“Yesterday?”

Elmer glanced away, jaw tight, eyes storming.

“Elmer,” Race sighed, setting the mostly full bottle on the sink. “Why haven’t you taken them, my love?”

Elmer pursed his lips. “I don’t need them anymore.” He said plainly.

Race closed his eyes, and said as gently as he could, “You do need them.”

He threw his arms wide, hitting his hand on the sink, and barely seemed to notice. “Why would I need them when I feel good?!”

“Because...” Race’s voice shook. “Because you just do, my sweet thing. It’s how things are.”

Elmer was quiet for a long moment. “Why were you checking in the first place?” He spat. “Am I so untrustworthy?”

“I wasn’t checking on you.” Race said calmly, doing all he could not to rile Elmer up. “I simply noticed. I don’t... none of us want you to hurt, Elmer.”

“Do I look like I’m hurting?”

“Do you  _want_ to be sad again? Have another episode?”

“That shit doesn’t stop the episodes!”

“But it helps them! Spaces them out!” Race yelled.

“Why should I take them when I feel good, why not just take them when I feel bad?”

“I want you to be happy, Elmer!”

“I want to be happy!”

“Then why not take them?”

“Because—“ Elmer voice broke and his head dipped, tears springing in his eyes. “Because I don’t want to be messed up anymore.”

Race looked up into the harsh light of the bathroom so he wouldn’t begin to cry as well. “You’re not messed up, baby.” He said, when his voice was strong enough not to break with each word. “This is how you were made, and how you were made is how you were meant to be.” He took Elmer into his arms, pressing his cheek against his dark hair. “You’re not messed up.”

Elmer buried his face in Race’s chest. “If I don’t take them, I can pretend there’s nothing wrong with me.” He whispered hopelessly.

Race tilted Elmer’s face up and kissed him slowly. “Not taking them—it doesn’t mean you won’t need them, Elly. And I understand... I understand that it sucks. It  _sucks_ , baby.” Elmer laughed weakly, sniffing. “But it’s not forever, love, it’s not forever. It’s going to get better, one day, and me, and Spottie, and Al,” he brushed Elmer’s hair out of his face. “We’ll be standing right by your side the whole time.”

Elmer sniffed again, nose red, eyes watery, and murmured, “Promise?”

Race kissed his brow. “Promise.”

He released Elmer from his arms after a long moment and stepped into the hallway, pointedly leaving the bottle out on the sink.

Elmer stood in front of the counter and looked into the mirror, staring into his own eyes. Catching glimpse of that sliver of desperation that never truly disappeared, that was always tucked away in his gaze where only those who really knew him could see.

In one swift movement, he uncapped the bottle, tipped a capsule out, and swallowed it, listening to Race moving around the kitchen and singing along to some Broadway song.

_It’s not forever, love, it’s not forever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’d like to disclose that the reluctance to take medication because you think that not taking it means there’s nothing wrong with you is a real thing


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer is frustrated and says harsh things that make albert hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda ouchie

_ Sometimes he’ll be harsh, and it will be disorienting, because he’s never harsh—but he doesn’t mean what he says. _

—————

“ _Have you left for work yet?_ ” Spot’s voice crackled over the line.

Albert shook his head before realizing that Spot couldn’t see him, and responded quietly, “No, not yet.”

“ _You’ll be late_.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“ _If_ _you say. I’ll talk to you later, baby. I love you.”_

“I love you too, Spottie.”

He hung up the phone and set it down on his leg, looking back towards Elmer’s sleeping figure on the bed.

“You’re going to be late for work.”

Or, not sleeping.

Albert inhaled. “I could always skip.” He said, trying to sound light.

“Why would you do that?” Elmer hadn’t turned to look at him.

He swallowed. “I didn’t want you to wake up alone, love.”

“I would’ve known where you’d gone.” Elmer’s voice had a sharp bite to it that made Albert flinch slightly. “Besides, you’ve left me a note, haven’t you?”

Albert nodded. “Yes, love, I have.” He said gently.

“Listen.” Elmer said sharply. “I’ve been doing this all my life, I don’t need a babysitter. I can handle it by myself.” He pulled the blanket up over his head, hiding himself from the world.

Albert sighed and felt his chest tighten in sadness. “Alright, El. I’ll... be back later.” He murmured, and crumpled up the note that he’d left on the bedside table.

_Gone to work_ , it had said.  _Be back around four, miss and love you so much. -Al_

He shut the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else sometimes get really mean during episodes because you’re just sick and tired of it?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer apologizes and albert has unending patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is very sweet

_ Of course, after he’s been harsh, he’ll feel like the worst person in the world for it. _

—————

Elmer leaned his brow on Spot’s collarbone, tears pouring down his face.

“I was horrible, and I knew I had hurt him, and I didn’t do anything about it.” He cried dejectedly, leaning into Spot’s body.

Spot stroked his hair. “He understood, babe, I’m sure he’s not upset.”

“I was the worst sort of rude.” Elmer shuddered out, chest shaking.

Spot’s hand traced Elmer’s spine softly, and he murmured, “Would you like me to go get him?”

Elmer gasped. “No, no he would just scoff at me. Turn away. I deserve it.”

“You know that Albert would never do that.” Spot assured, kissing all over Elmer’s face.

Elmer swallowed, a bit guiltily. “I know.”

Spot pressed his lips to Elmer’s brow. “I think you should talk to him right now, if you’re up for it.”

A pause. “Do you think he would listen?”

“Of course, love.”

Elmer exhaled, eyes fluttering a little, and then stood and tiptoed out of the bed, eyes still watering, shoulders curved in as if he could disappear into his own body. He walked very slowly down the stairs, each step light and a little difficult, joints creaking with stiffness. The last step of the stairs was the hardest, seeing Albert sitting on the couch, looking over at him calmly.

“Where’s Race?” Elmer murmured, and sniffed.

“Still at work.” Albert responded. His voice wasn’t unkind, in fact, it was gentle, but it struck a strange sort of chord in Elmer.

He stepped forward, and Albert turned off the TV. “I’m so sorry about earlier.” He whispered.

There was a heavy sort of beat, and then Albert smiled gently and opened his arms. Elmer sank into them, cuddling up beside his boyfriend on their couch, feet tucked under his legs. “It’s alright, El.” Albert said, stroking his arm.

“It wasn’t. I hurt you, and I’m so sorry for that. I didn’t mean any of it, if I could take it back, I would. I was unnecessarily sour, and I—I  _can’t_ do this by myself. I want you with me, if you want to be.” Elmer said, quiet and fierce, heart twisting in his chest.

Albert laced their hands together and kissed the back of Elmer’s palm. “I forgive you.” He assured, and Elmer let out a breath. “And of course I want to be with you.”

Elmer managed a weak smile and snuggled closer to his boyfriend, leaving their fingers intertwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what i wouldn’t give to cuddle up next to albert dasilva


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer feels guilty and thinks he’s a burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter hits home because it’s trueeee

_ The worst part will always be the days after, when he feels like a burden on the world, and he’ll try to convince you to leave him. _

—————

Elmer came up and wrapped his arms around Spot from behind, looking over his shoulder at Race.

“Feeling better, love?” Albert asked with a soft smile, leaning against the door jam.

He nodded, slowly. “It’s over, if that’s what your asking.” He said with a humorless smirk.

Race came over and kissed his temple. “I’m sure that wasn’t it.” He said cheerily, and then playfully scolded Spot on how much water he’d put in the pot on the stove, and the conversation was dropped.

Albert came over and stole Elmer away, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly while Spot and Race bickered and laughed over cooking. Elmer held him tightly in return, watching his boyfriends snap towels at each other. For a moment, he could smile about it, laugh along with them, but his laughs had died out suddenly.

He brought them down. He kept them from doing these things. He was a weight on them, a cross they shouldn’t have to bear, and he had shifted their entire lives around.

He eyes teared up and he sniffed, praying to God that Albert wouldn’t notice. But Albert always had been an observer.

“Are you crying, baby?” He asked, and Spot and Race’s antics suddenly stopped. 

Elmer let out a choked laugh. “Yeah, yeah I am.” He shook his head. “I’m being ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous to cry.” Spot said firmly, and crossed the kitchen to take Elmer’s hand. Race followed closely behind, cupping Elmer’s face when he was close enough.

Race brushed a tear away. “Why are you crying, love?”

“I just—“ Elmer sobbed slightly, the sound dragging out of him, and Albert’s arms tightened. “I can’t help but feel like I drag all three of you down.”

Spot sighed as gently as he could. “El, baby, you know that’s not true.”

“We love you, Elmer, you could never drag us down.” Race butt in.

Albert kissed his head. “We love you so, so much, Elly.”

“I’m just—I’m not good enough for you guys when I have all these problems.” He whispered, head tilting down.

“Hey.” Spot our two fingers under his chin and lifted his head until they were eye to eye. “They’re not problems. They’re just  quirks .” Elmer giggled a little. “We all have quirks that all the rest of us have to figure out. You’re no different than us.”

Race squeezed his hand. “You’re not your episodes, Elmer.”

“You’re absolutely not.” Albert whispered into his hair.

Elmer hiccuped and then leaned forward to kiss Spot firmly, a hand curling around the back of his head. He kissed Race, gasping slightly, and then Albert, who whispered things into his skin softly. He might’ve said something, if he could have trusted his voice not to break, but instead he just let himself disappear within the arms of his three boyfriends, warm and surrounded and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate the ending but


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer doesn’t understand why his boyfriends stay with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is painful and i was sad writing it

_ It’s going to be really bad sometimes . _

—————

Spot held Race in his arms, tears filling his eyes as Race cried. Albert was sitting on the floor in front of them on the couch, cheeks red with the effort of holding back his own tears, nails digging into his palms.

“I hate it, I hate it so much.” Race cried, burying his face in Spot’s lap. He was curled up on the couch, letting Spot’s fingers run through his hair as two of his three boyfriends watched sadly. “I hate seeing him like that.”

“I know, Tonio, I know.” Spot murmured softly, his voice crackling. “But it’s going to get better. It’ll be okay.”

“He doesn’t deserve this.” Race cried, and then again, “I _hate_ it .”

There was a sniffle from the staircase, and each boy’s gaze snapped to it suddenly.

“El?” Spot called slowly.

No response but a desperate, dragging sob.

Albert shot up like a rocket, tearing up the stairs until he was knelt before Elmer. Spot and Race followed quickly after, Race wiping the tears off his face. 

The sight of Elmer on the steps made Spot’s heart break open in his body. He was sitting with his knees up to his chest, face hidden in his arms and shoulders shaking. Albert was crouched before him, face the picture of helplessness, and Race still had silent tears pouring down his cheeks.

“El, we’re so sorry, love.” Albert whispered, looking as if he desperately wanted to reach out and touch him but knowing not to. “We thought you were asleep...”

Elmer glanced up, and his eyes were red and swollen. “Why?” He whispered.

Spot knew he wasn’t wondering why they thought he was asleep.

“Because we love you,” He said, and sat down beside him, close but not touching. “Because we couldn’t live without you. Because you complete us, even if you have setbacks.”

Elmer shuddered a breath. “I hurt you. I hurt all of you, every time this happens.” His nails were digging fiercely into his palms. “I’m a ruiner.” He said finally.

“No.” Race said firmly, his voice breaking. “No, you aren’t, you never will be. We would be ruined without you, Elmer.”

Elmer tipped his head back, and two tears ran parallel down his face.

“It’s so hard.” He breathed finally, and the defeat in his voice, the utter hopelessness, made Spot’s eyes run over and tears fall down his face. “It’s so hard,” Elmer repeated, and then burst into tears, sobbing and hiccuping and burying his face in Spot’s shirt to cry into it. Spot wrapped his arms tightly around Elmer, gaze blurry as Albert put a hand on Elmer’s back soothingly and Race rested his brow on the top knob of Elmer’s spine, his own tears blocking his vision. They were all crying, all at once, on the steps of their home.

Elmer cried desperately and heart wrenchingly and hopelessly, until he had exhausted himself with his own tears, and fell asleep on Spot’s chest, still curled defeatedly into a tight ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elmer and his boys know they’ll be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter of this and this story was a doozy

_ But the good moments will always be so good, and so much more than the bad. Cherish these. _

—————

Elmer walked down the stairs, smiling gently, in boxers and Albert’s tee shirt and Race’s socks. He never seemed to wear his own clothes. It wasn’t even a moment after he’d entered the living room that he’d draped himself across the laps of his three boyfriends, head on Albert’s legs and feet on Race’s. He grabbed both of Spot’s hands in his own and kissed them gently, still smiling.

It had been two weeks since his last episode, and while that wasn’t an exorbitant amount of time, in fact, it was quite short, every day feeling like himself still felt like a victory.

Albert smiled down at him and curled a strand of Elmer’s dark hair around his finger. “Well hello there.” He teased, and traced the line of Elmer’s nose.

Elmer, overcome with adoration, fisted one of his hands in Albert’s shirtfront and tugged him down, kissing him fiercely. Albert made a short, satisfied sound and slipped his hand under Elmer’s head, letting his mouth be parted open and their tongues to brush against each other slowly. Elmer’s lips were hard on Albert’s, and the kiss was hot like a fire, burning in the pit of Albert’s stomach.

Elmer, after a moment, pulled back slowly, looking up at his boyfriend with wide pupils. He glanced towards Spot and Race, who were watching them hungrily if a bit amused, their eyes dark. “I love you guys so fucking much.” Elmer said, and then laughed, still panting a little.

Race said nothing, just took Elmer’s hands in his and tugged him up, until he was sitting straight, before pulling him onto his lap and kissing him just as fiercely as he had kissed Albert. Their mouths moved quickly and fiercely, for a drawn out moment, and Race nipped his bottom lip before pulling away. “You really think you could get away with only kissing one of us like that?” Race growled, and Elmer kissed his nose.

“I was hoping not.” He responded cheekily.

“What the hell?” Spot called, looking incredulously—and jokingly—at Elmer. “Do I no longer exist?”

Elmer giggled and leaned over Race to kiss Spot in the same fierce manner, lips moving wildly and hands clutching in hair and eyes fluttering because  God , this didn’t even feel real. Elmer had gotten not one but three boyfriends, and they were all just as good as the last. He must’ve been the luckiest person to ever exist.

Elmer pulled away finally and smiled lazily at Spot. “Save the best for last, right?” He murmured, teasing.

“Hey!” Albert objected as Race hit them with a pillow. Elmer and Spot just laughed, prompting the other two to join as well, and Elmer fell back into his position stretched across the three of them, one of his hands twined with Spot’s.

“We love you, too, baby.” Race said after a long moment.

Albert leaned down to kiss his brow, and Spot kissed the back of his hand, reinforcing the words.

Elmer smiled at his boyfriends, because Jesus Christ, he’d never loved anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story means a lot to me as someone who suffers from depressive episodes so i would love some validation if you care to give it  
> have a great day my lovelies!!


End file.
